The Inconveniences of Daily Life
by htd
Summary: No one is more surprised to find that Hibari has hormones than Hibari himself. 1827.


AN: Happy birthday, Hibari~

* * *

Hibari was suffering. It started several days before, when he'd woken on the rooftop of his school from a disturbing dream comprising of nothing but a naked Sawada and tea cups. They'd been sitting together in the reception room drinking tea. Mostly, though, he'd been staring at Sawada's legs. Beyond the nudity, there was nothing overtly sexual about the dream, but he'd woken up with a raging hard-on and the urge to bite every living creature within a one kilometer radius to death.

The dream repeated itself over the following days with varying themes. By the end of the week, Sawada was sitting naked in his lap, popping sugar cubes into his mouth and reciting the Namimori Middle student handbook verbatim.

It might have been bearable. Hibari could have dealt with the nightly nuisances just fine had they not started bleeding into his daily life. He couldn't look at Sawada without thinking about him naked now, and that made it very difficult to do much of anything at all. Sawada was _everywhere_. Hibari could be innocently biting a rule breaker to death in the courtyard and suddenly Sawada would appear, flanked by his lapdog companions, and Hibari's will to fight would get shove aside by his baser instincts, which seemed to be composed of nothing but thoughts like _I wonder if his legs really look that nice_.

The dreams were no longer dreams. They'd been upgraded to involuntary fantasies, and Hibari couldn't bite an intangible concept to death. No, it seemed as though he'd have to get used to sudden jolts of arousal at inconvenient times—getting hard during uniform checks was possibly the most inconvenient thing he'd ever suffered—because the Sawada-induced visions didn't seem likely to disappear any time soon.

Helpless was not something Hibari was accustomed to feeling, so he handled it in the only way he knew how: by hitting things.

Only, that didn't work as well as he hoped. It was a horrible cycle: Hibari would find himself lost in fantasy, would become aroused, and finally would attempt to take out his frustration on the nearest student only to find himself _more_ aroused.

He was pretty sure there were rules about masturbating on school grounds. Pity, that.

* * *

Everything felt good. Sawada's legs were over Hibari's shoulders, his wild hair slicked to his forehead with sweat, leaving only a curtained view of his eyes. Hibari kept fucking into him, relentless, but Sawada didn't falter. He kept rolling his hips into the motion, faster, harder—

"Hibari-san, I don't mean to sound rude, but why are you at my window?"

Reality.

Hibari felt momentarily surprised. What _was_ he doing at Sawada's window?

"I was in the neighborhood," he said vaguely. Then, when that served only to further alarm Sawada, he added: "I was on patrol."

There, he relaxed. Well, as much as Sawada ever did.

"I see." Clearly, Sawada didn't. "Would you like some tea?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he looked appalled.

Hibari preened. "Very well. If you insist."

"Yeah..." Sawada rubbed the back of his head. "Um. Could you—well, Hibari-san, would you please come inside?" Some amount of shock must have shown on Hibari's face because Sawada rushed to clarify: "Usually when people perch on my window like that the neighbors call the police." He sounded apologetic.

As well he should. Just who else had been perching on Sawada's window? Hibari made a mental note to increase the patrols for this neighborhood. Someone wasn't doing their job.

They sat on opposite sides of the small table in Sawada's room. His mother brought the tea and exclaimed over the amount of good-looking friends her son had while Sawada choked and made frantic slashing motions across his throat.

The tea was excellent. Hibari sipped at it and stared at Sawada across the table.

"Not to, um, offend you or anything? But—why are you here, Hibari-san?" Sawada looked increasingly nervous. He fidgeted, wrapping his hands around the warm cup as though he was unsure of what else to do with them.

"I told you already."

"Yes, but—I didn't mean the area." More fidgeting. Sawada tensed like he was preparing to jump up and tear out of the room. "I mean, why are you _here_?"

It was a fair question, but not one Hibari had an answer to. He'd walked to Sawada's house without a destination in mind. He barely recalled the five minutes between the school and Sawada's window. The majority of it was spent in fantasy.

Hibari, for the first time since he cared to recall, felt uneasy.

"I felt like it," he settled on. If Sawada asked anything further, Hibari would have to silence him the hard way. "Stop talking," he commanded.

Sawada yelped and ducked his head.

The rest of the visit passed in silence, only interrupted when Sawada's herbivore companions showed up. Hibari was just polishing off the cookies Sawada's mother had set out when a thunderous voice rose from the first floor.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT BASTARD IS WITH THE TENTH? _I'LL KILL HIM_."

Sawada, oddly enough, looked just as disturbed as Hibari did by the interruption, though he suspected it was for a different reason altogether.

Hibari listened to the mess of sound swiftly approaching and marveled at the fact that he didn't feel like biting anyone to death at all. Rather, he felt irritable—and somehow disappointed.

"I'm leaving," he announced to Sawada. He didn't wait for a goodbye, though as he stepped out of the window and leapt down to the yard below, he heard what sounded like a mumbled _thanks for dropping by, I think_.

It didn't make sense that he felt as light as he did, after.

* * *

That night, the dreams changed. Sawada had his clothes on. They were in the reception room still, only the table from Sawada's room was there, laid out with snacks and tea. Sawada was talking, but Hibari couldn't understand him. It sounded like gibberish. The more he tried to understand, the less sense Sawada made.

It seemed pointlessly frustrating, up until the part where Sawada's companion, the one who smoked entirely too much, broke down the door. Sawada stopped speaking gibberish and very clearly said, "Gokudera-kun, go away," in a stern voice.

The idiot herbivore disappeared, and Hibari and Sawada were alone. Hibari woke up just as Sawada offered him more tea.

He wasn't hard. He simply felt light—content.

Hibari didn't quite understand it, but somehow, he found that dream the most alarming one of all.


End file.
